Joel Ceausu – The Suburban LJI Reporter
Montreal Mayor Valérie Plante called it another “excellent reason to choose Montreal to start your family!” Despina Sourias, associate executive committee advisor for the women, diversity, youth and seniors called it “a symbol of Montreal pride,” that will allow thousands of children and families “to get off to an easier start in life, thus contributing to quality of life and equal opportunities.”
That’s a lot of bang for the colourful box filled with $200 worth of baby swag, like a bib, rattle, pants, blanket, and other “ecological, safe, non-gendered” items from local suppliers. Distributed by municipal libraries, for children 0 – 12 months, the city’s new Bienvenue Bébé box is meant to welcome wee Montrealers to the world, “and strengthen families’ sense of belonging to their city.”
Sounds good, right?
Not so much to former CDN-NDG mayoralty candidate Alex Montagano. “It’s just a silly PR stunt that will cost taxpayers money,” he told The Suburban. “Imagine all the resources that went into this while our food banks are struggling. It’s just a silly feel-good distraction, instead of city councillors focusing on day-to-day city services that families really need.”
True to form, Montagano, who once secretly added garbage bins to borough parks at a lower cost than the city which continues to service them without a clue, is not averse to his own silly PR stunt to highlight what he calls city élus’ folly.
His tongue-in-cheek reply to the Montreal Bébé Box rollout is his own welcome gift: the CDN-NDG Baby Bucket. It includes everything from mini traffic cones and detour signs to baby’s first lighter (with candles for all those NDG hydro blackouts.) A litter grabber and commercial grade garbage bags for dirty streets and parks are in there, as are important instructions, e.g. use the bucket to bathe the baby “but don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.”
Of course it’s nonsense, says Montagano, who has for years hammered successive administrations over inadequate investments in park maintenance, street cleaning, garbage collection and infrastructure. But the message is real: the Bucket’s detour signs and construction cones introduce CDN-NDG newborns to their new confusing environment and must be moved “randomly without notice,” he says. When the baby cries in confusion, “never explain why it’s being done. Learning to cope with being frustrated are important skill sets to have for living in CDN-NDG.”
The durable plastic bucket serves many functions, including “a convenient scoop to drain flood-prone NDG basements of backed-up sewage,” and the cute parent and baby hardhats are a must for strolling beneath those local old, neglected city trees. “I can’t wait to get elected,” says Montagano, “so that I can consume city resources on my personal pet projects that will get feel-good fluff stories in the local press.”
To pick up the city’s Bienvenue Bébé Box for your new arrival, visit https://montreal.ca/…/welcom….